I generate new things out of nothing. I stare down chaos and create order. I curate, I destroy, I search for meaning and newness. I look for ways to fund my maniacal desire to paint larger - but I don't know why I want to paint bigger. I have magic and I look for new ways to get paid for my magic. I ask bigger questions than I can figure out on my own.
As an artist I struggle to define my job title. I struggle to explain exactly where I want to go and why I mean to go there. Why is it important? Who do I serve? And how do I succinctly explain something that feels so expansive to me?
When I decided to pursue my art full-time, I left a corporate job that included a clearly defined set of goals and responsibilities. I spent several months reeling in the possibilities and the wide-open options. I was not an arrow. I was the hands on a clock and I spun around in 360 degrees, ending where I started at the beginning of the day. I told everyone that I was a freelance graphic artist.
But I gradually listened to the quiet stirring in my fingers. I watched the birds outside my studio window and considered how the Lord provides for them. I worked hard (and continue to work) to trust Him to provide for me in the same way. I considered a direction and became more focused on my path. I tried to stop my clock hands and point towards a single goal. I wrote constantly: jumbled questions that I'm still sorting through.
Artists have a variety of job titles including creative director, founder, CFO, and marketing manager. I specialize in website development, e commerce, product design, customer service, and content creation. I'm learning to embrace each of these job titles with the joy and excitement that comes from having something bigger than a job. I have a mission and a message that is uniquely mine, and that makes me more than a freelancer - it makes me an Artist.